Stick or stop

I arrived Thailand just one month ago; coming here for the second time in less than two years is not usual. That makes me realise that Thailand is a weird place.

On the one hand, you see a lot of losers here. People who "couldn't do it" in their countries and came here to have a better life. Farangs and expats walking with young girls in Nana is an example of that. You see digital nomads (I hate that word), specially around Khaosan, and a lot of YouTubers and Instascammers.

On the other hand, cool kids come and go. Young people that create open source and beautiful stuff. They don't make noise because they don't make videos or post on Instagram. They sit quietly in their rooms, maybe at coffe shops, trying to make a living with the basics: a laptop inside their backpacks.

Living with a backpack is tough

Moving around every two or three months because visa requirements to other countries is exhausting. Doing this for more than a year drains your energy (traveling continously is not enjoyable).

I feel better when I stay in one place for a long time. Staying in the same place is like cultivating a friendship; you need time, trial and error, to know and enjoy each other. It's impossible to accelerate the process of building trust.

You don't need a lot to live in South East Asia comfortably. Weather is nice, food is amazing and blah, blah... But...

This time I am missing Europe

I miss going to supermarket and having fuet, chorizo or jamón serrano at affordable prices. I miss the paella that my mum cooks on sundays. I miss that everything is clean and you don't need to worry about food poisoning (first time I heard about this was in Asia). I miss that drivers are respectful with traffic lights and that buses and metro are not as crowded as hell...

This morning I woke up and I realised that maybe it wasn't the right decision to come here again. I had a salaried job paying me well in Barcelona. Job was boring but relatively easy... Nothing to complain about. So...

Why the hell did I come here again?

Firstly, because of Jaruwan. I promised her that I will come back again and here I am. I love her and enjoy living with her, but I am sacrifing a lot of things because of that. For example, my family.

Although I am not a fan of family meetings and this kind of stuff, I enjoy spontaneous lunches and dinners with them. And enjoy being sorrounded with my sister and mum. I have realized that I am better psychologically when I am around them.

Secondly, because of time. Time is cheaper in South East Asia. Free time to do whatever you want: writing code, designing, writing posts, etc. Time is the only thing that it's really valuable in life. So the goal is to manage your time and do whatever you want with it. Time management is freedom and freedom is what every human being is meant to achieve.

Thirdly, because I am stubborn. If I tell myself that I will be doing something, I need to do it or I won't be happy. This sounds stupid and childish, but it's how my brain works. So, yeah, I can stick with something for a very long time until realising that it was the wrong decision (or until I can turn it to be the right decision).

If my brain didn't work like this, I wouldn't have been training in the gym for more than 12 years or I wouldn't finished engineer degree after 6 years.

Stick or quit?

Whether I should stick or quit is a personal decision with no wrong or right answer.

I launched my first project in 2015. Since then, I have made less than 50$ launching apps and websites. The internet is signaling and telling me that this isn't the right place to be? I don't know... Internet is tough because you see a minority of people that "are doing it" (and you think that they are the majority), but you don't see the people who sunk along the way.

Internet it's like watching Federer playing tennis and making it easy, thinking that you could to the same, and then, realising how difficult it is to be like him after playing one game.